Helping Your Teen with Anorexia: A Parent’s Guide

Anorexia is an eating disorder that is characterized by food restriction usually due to an intense fear of gaining weight or the desire to lose weight.  It affects all races, gender identities, and body types.  

While anorexia can affect people of all ages, it can be quite  prevalent among teenagers.  As a parent, helping your teen suffering from anorexia can undoubtedly feel overwhelming and confusing, especially, given the complexities of the disorder.  The purpose of this article is to provide you with tips to support your teen throughout recovery from anorexia.

Educate Yourself About Anorexia

Anorexia is not merely about food restriction and body image issues.  It is important to recognize that anorexia is a mental disease and not a choice. Therefore, it is not a question of a lack of willpower to eat more. It is extremely difficult for your teen to do so given that anorexia goes beyond food restriction and body image issues. 

For instance, the root causes can go much deeper and may include: 

• lack of self-esteem
• using restriction as a coping mechanism to deal with anxiet
• perfectionism
• identity crisis, among many other possibilities. 

It is also important to note that weight is not a diagnostic criterion for anorexia. Your teen could be considered to be in the “normal” range for weight and still have some warning signs and symptoms of the eating disorder. To learn more about the signs and symptoms of anorexia, you can head over to this article.

Approach Your Teen with Compassion

If you discover that your teen has been restricting their food intake, the last thing you should do is blame them. Or, pressure them into eating.  It can be incredibly easy for the concerns and worries you have to translate poorly.  Instead, take a small step back to gather your thoughts and emotions.

Begin by trying to step into their shoes and look at the issue from their perspective.  It is far from easy for someone to share such personal and intimate information with another person.  This is especially true for teenagers who may not yet know how to process their emotions.  

Reacting in a healthy and non-judgemental manner can provide your teen with a boost of hope. At this time, express your concerns while making a point to use “I” statements.  For example, “I am worried as I see you struggling with food”, instead of “You are not eating enough and you should force yourself to eat more.” 

It is important to acknowledge your feelings while showing your support and understanding.  This will help to keep the lines of communication open, which, is an important part of treatment.

Seek Professional Help

Eating disorders like anorexia are considered both mental health disorders and medical illnesses. Thus, treatment should involve both medical and mental health professionals.  These professionals should have experience specializing in treating eating disorders. 

It is also recommended that an eating disorder nutritionist be involved.  With the help of such professionals, your teen can become educated on how to eat better to meet their needs, decrease any fear associated with eating certain foods, understand the impacts of various nutrients on their body and address body image issues. 

Through individual counseling, the eating disorder nutritionist can cover:

• Thorough nutrition evaluation to assess your teen’s needs, eating habits and behaviours and triggers that maintain the eating disorder
• Teaching about nutrition’s role in their health and body
• Teaching how anorexia causes nutrition, mental, social and physical issues
• Correcting/treating possible health problems created by poor nutrition
• Setting regular eating patterns and the steps needed to avoid restricting
• Meal planning and working towards weight restoration if needed
• Follow-up sessions to go over any questions or concerns 

Create a Supportive and Safe Environment at Home

Creating a recovery-positive home is one of the best ways to remain supportive.  This can be done in many ways, including:

• Encouraging your teen to speak openly about their body image and food struggles
• Remaining flexible and compassionate 
• Avoiding conversations revolving around weight, appearance, size, physical activity, and dieting.   
• Complimenting non-physical/non-appearance-related qualities (i.e., kindness, humor, etc.)
• Avoiding labeling foods as “good” or “bad”, “healthy” or “junk”  
• Creating a consistent meal schedule with the help of professionals to ensure the meals aren’t triggering or anxiety-inducing
• Creating a positive space at mealtime by eating together without pressure or interrogations; striving for a positive family interaction
• Being mindful of how you speak about yourself.  Teens pick up on certain behaviors and beliefs.  If you criticize your own body or eating habits, those thoughts and behaviours could be picked up by your teen. 

Be Patient and Consistent

Recovery can be quite long and non-linear.  This is why it’s important to normalize and accept the hurdles that come your way.   A technique usually applied during meal support (but good to keep in mind at all times), is the 4 C’s.

• • Calm: Your teen will pick up on your anxiety or other emotions.  While this shows that you are also human, there is a time and place to fully release these emotions.  Rather than make your teen feel more anxious, try your best to remain calm. Be sure to take some breaks if you feel you are at a breaking point.
  • Consistent: “Consistency is key”.  Once healthy changes have been made and rules are set to keep them in place, try to stick to them.  
  • Confident:  Even when you may not feel the most confident, make sure your teen sees that you will not falter.  Your confidence will provide your child the reassurance they need to continue fighting for themselves.
  • Compassionate: Acknowledge that what your teen is going through is far from easy. As scared as you may feel, it is most likely an even scarier experience for them.  

Take Care of Yourself Too

Experiencing caregiver burnout as the parent of a teen with anorexia is more than a fleeting emotion.  It takes a toll on you mentally and physically. Combatting this burnout often requires significant changes in behavior, along with implementing self-care practices, and leaning on your support systems.  

Support Systems

There are a few non-profit organizations which offer support and guidance for the loved ones of individuals suffering from an eating disorder. For instance, ANEB has offered support to those suffering from eating disorders and their families across Quebec for over 30 years.  This includes support groups for families, online chat/text services, and many other free resources.   

For more information, you may contact ANEB directly here.  Or, feel free to book an appointment with one of our NutriVie Santé eating disorder dietitians to learn more about ways we can help you.